Anonymous asked:
Bisexual and constantly bored. A lot of nsfw that I will try to tag but no promises so please 18+ only. Sometimes I try to be healthy
Raising kids without strict gender roles and letting them play with what they want, wear what they want, etc.: 👍👍👍👍👍👍
Raising kids as “genderless”, causing needless confusion and complications for them: 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎
i’ll never get over the fact that there’s a movie called “snakes on a plane” and in that movie there’s a line that is, verbatim, “ive had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane”.
that is absolutely bonkers. that’s ridiculous. that’s like making a movie called “gators in the sewer” and having someone in the movie say “im getting really sick and tired of these fucking gators in the sewer”
the funny part is that the alternate title was something mundane like “flight 93″ and samuel l. jackson made the director change it back to “snakes on a plane” bc he said it was the only reason he auditioned
oh my god, the youth have forgotten that there was a huge viral phenomenon when this movie was being filmed, where the internet got wind of the working title snakes on a plane, and a) demanded that title be made official, b) CAME UP WITH the line about these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane, and c) GOT THE LINE INCLUDED IN THE ACTUAL MOVIE
You forgot the part where three up and coming bands in the emo scene collaborated to write a song called Snakes On a Plane and filmed a music video of themselves smuggling snakes onto a plane, and it practically launched all of their careers.
If you think for one second of my worthless life I have forgotten “Bring It (Snakes on a Plane)” released by Cobra Starship (2006) then you can think the fuck again
There’s a woman at the grocer who quite possibly has the most obnoxious voice on earth. “Excuse me, sir, where do you keep the non-GMO carrots? I see the organic, but are those certified non-GMO?”
I’m a hair’s breadth from killing everyone there who stops in an aisle as if it isn’t a thoroughfare and dawdles inexplicably. “Excuse me, but all carrots grown today are GMO. All produce grown today, in fact.”
She stares at me and starts to put on a dirty look. Before she can vocalize her “How do you know?” I cut her off and say…
“I’m a food historian and you really ought to educate yourself about produce lineages if you’re so concerned about GMO. Go buy some purple carrots and leave this poor man lone so that he can do his job.”
And then I walked away…I get testy when I am hungry and she was between me and the butcher. A bad place to be.
I’m not sure if you realize this…but orange carrots like the ones she had in her hand…are a GMO.
The carrots used in most of Europe from the beginning of the Spice Trade up until the 17th century were of Asian stock and were reddish purple in color–rather more like a beet or the purple carrots of today. It was the Dutch who crossed them in hothouses with yellow carrots using new farming methods of fertilization and small beds. The yellow carrots were created by selection among hybrid
progenies of yellow Eastern carrots, white carrots and wild pale subspecies grown in
the Mediterranean. The first orange carrots originated by intentional bred mutation.
Now…all you non-GMO people blocking the aisles can finally stop harping on, yes?
No…I thought not.
puzzle: H E _ _ O
category: greeting
contestant: spins
wheel: $5000
contestant: L!
pat: no L
This is a horror novel
“Authors can’t use it in fantasy fiction, eh? We’ll see about that…”
–Terry Pratchett, probably
Try to implement anything but a conservative’s sixth grade education level of medieval or Victorian times and you will butt into this. all. the. time.
There was a literaly fad in the 1890′s for nipple rings for all genders(and NO, it was NOT under the mistaken belief that it would help breastfeeding–there’s LOTS of doctors’ writing at the time telling people to STOP and that they thought it would ruin the breast’s ability to breastfeed well, etc). It was straight up because the Victorians were freaks, okay
Imagine trying to make a Victorian character with nipple rings. IMAGINE THE ACCUSATIONS OF GROSS HISTORICAL INACCURACY
people just really, REALLY have entrenched ideas of what people in the past were like
tell them the vikings were clean, had a complex democratic legal system, respected women, had freeform rap battles, and had child support payments? theyd call you a liar
tell them that chopsticks became popular in china during the bronze age because street food vendors were all the rage and they wanted to have disposable eating utensils? theyll say youre making that up
tell them native americans had a trade network stretching from canada to peru and built sacred mounds bigger then the pyramids of giza? you are some SJW twisting facts
ancient egypt had circular saws, debt cards, and eye surgery? are you high?
our misconception of medieval peasants being illiterate and living in poverty in one room mud huts being their own creation as part of a century long tax aversion scam? you stole that from the game of thrones reject bin
iron age india had stone telescopes, air conditioning, and the number 0 along with all ‘arabic’ numbers including algebra and calculus? i understand some of those words.
romans had accurate maps detailing vacation travel times along with a star rating for hotels along the way, fast food restaurants, swiss army knives, black soldiers in brittany, traded with china, and that soldiers wrote thank-you notes when their parents sent them underwear in the mail? but they thought the earth was flat!
ancient bronze age mesopotamia had pedantic complaints sent to merchants about crappy goods, comedic performances, and transgender/nobinary representation? what are you smoking?
Adding my personal favorite: people in medieval Europe took baths.
Truth is stranger than fiction, and history is weirder than you think.
this post gets better every time it comes across my dash. To provide some more: those Romans also had vending machines, automated puppet plays, doors that opened to the sound of horns when you lit a fire in front of them, and working steam engines. All invented by one dude, Hero of Alexandria.
People generally want to think that the Dark Ages is the sum of the entire history of the world.
Charlemagne had a frigging PET ELEPHANT, sent as a present by the Caliph over in Bahgdad.
Emperor Frederick II. (around 1200) crossed the Alps with his own private zoo, including giraffes, in order to impress and dazzle his Germanic subjects, and it frigging worked. He also introduced legislation that a doctor was not allowed to also sell medicine (to prevent obvious charlatanery), but had to write a recipe for an apothecary to then redeem, which is a system STILL IN USE in Germany and other countries. He spoke several language, was tolerant towards his Muslim subjects in southern Italy (you read that correctly) and was opposed to trial by combat on reasons of it being unfair and irrational. Oh, and he wrote a book on ornithology.
Ancient Persians knew how to make frozen desserts even in summer, thus basically being the inventors of ice cream.
Medieval monks had an efficient way of testing for pregnacy (by pouring the urine of a woman on a toad, which, if the woman was pregnant, would change colour…).
History is NOT a linear progression!
Someone should staple that to people’s foreheads sometimes, I swear.
just wanna add on a bit about the Greeks, they had this super fucked up kinda weaponized fire called Greek fire and we still can’t fuckin replicate that shit. no one knows how they made it and other civilizations were scared shitless of it at the time.
beam me up scotty (beam me up inside) can’t beam up (beam me up inside)
met a dumb ass today, awful
You looked in a mirror?
someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful